How to be in the 3% of people who achieve their goals

If you have been playing hockey for some time I am sure that you have like many people in sport experienced a similar feeling… you know, when things sometimes seem so unfair and you feel like the whole world is against you because you haven’t been selected, maybe you have been dropped, you got injured or just didn’t perform as well as you wanted to in an important game. 

No matter what friends and family say to you, it just doesn’t seem to make you feel any better. Then you think… Why oh why has this happened to me? Or why does this always happen to me? Why do I always have to work so much harder than everyone else?

The real answer to this question can often be found within yourself and this is often best done by talking to someone who understands how to help you see the positive perspective and the bigger picture in every situation. Parent’s can give good advice but often the advice falls on deaf ears, because the relationship is too close for the child to listen to a parent who is telling them to clean their room one minute and next trying to also be their coach.

But what about someone on the outside, someone who is not related to the child, who understands hockey, someone who has played at the highest level and who the child will more likely listen to? A mentor.

What is a Mentor? 

A mentor is someone that can help you and guide you through a challenging learning process and teach you important life lessons through a method of self discovery.

Most successful people, particularly sport’s people and coaches have sought the advice of someone more experienced than them at some point in their life, to help them along their journey to success.

A qualified mentor is an extension of this, instead they are trained specifically to understand what you are going through not only in experience but also to help you deal with the emotions or difficulties that you are going through such as frustration, pressure, lack of confidence, focus, poor decision making, etc.

Benefits of a mentor: 

  • Develop confidence, self esteem and the skills that are required to be successful
  • Increase in motivation and a better attitude towards life/sport
  • Receive constructive feedback to help you grow
  • Someone to confide in and to encourage you
  • Be held accountable for actioning what you desire
  • Exposure of a different perspective and others experiences
  • Understand the factors which determine success
  • Learn the necessary knowledge, skills and tools to achieve your goals
  • Become more focussed in every area of your life
  • Expand leadership abilities
  • Learn how to follow through on anything you desire
  • Improves self awareness, discipline and ability to bounce back
  • Improves sense of belonging and communication skills

Only 3% of people achieve their goals

We all have what it takes to be successful and reach our goals but only a very small percentage of people (3%) reach their goals. Why? Often the ability lies within you, for example you may have been playing hockey for 5 years already and so you have enough of the basics to get further but perhaps you are lacking confidence, belief in yourself or perhaps like most people you are not doing anything over and above what others are doing to pursue your goals.

To be successful, you have to be prepared to do the things that other people don’t want to do. 

In the context of hockey, that could be admitting that you are not as mentally tough as you could be and then doing something about it, it could be improving your fitness, practicing skills for hours on end or becoming more athletic to give you an edge (i.e. stronger, faster, more powerful) through a structured and planned training program specific not only hockey but also to suit you. Most of the time, they are all of the above.

These are the things that 90% of people do not even consider. Of the 10% of people that do consider these things, we already know that only 3% of them go on to achieve their goals. So, if you haven’t reached your goals yet then you just have to change the way you approach things.

How a mentor can help you reach your goals

Essentially a mentor who has been professionally trained will be able to identify any limiting beliefs and barriers that are holding you back. Often a lot of people will never know what they are capable of because of self-sabotage, basically what that means is, that they are so scared to fail that they don’t give 100% effort and are quick to make excuses to themselves or others as to why they didn’t achieve their goals.

When people don’t set any goals or are too ashamed or embarassed to say their goals out loud it is a sure sign that they either doubt themselves and that they are scared to fail and often this is because deep down they don’t want to look silly or be embarrassed in front of others.

We care too much about what other people think, therefore we don’t commit ourselves to what we really want. So, it is easier not to set any goals.

A mentor can help you through this process and work through all the underlying causes and thinking patterns which are happening and causing doubt, fear and a lack of confidence. I have a number of tools that I use to help different people in different situations but often it is about re-wiring what lies beneath, in the unconscious part of the brain. This is where all feelings, emotions, past events and 90% of information is stored, often it is in there without us being aware of it.

My job as a mentor and NLP trainer (neuro-linguistic programming) is to find out and get rid of the negative stuff that sits in the unconscious part of the brain and free’s you up to start seeing things in a different way which will benefit you in many area’s of your life.

This includes things like improved confidence, making better decisions, being more positive, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, playing in your optimal state for performance, the list goes on….

Characteristics of a good sports mentor: 

  • Trustworthy and loyal
  • Ability to listen, question and provide constructive feedback
  • Provide a positive and challenging environment
  • Commitment to helping the person to the best of their ability
  • Ability to deal with different personality types
  • Flexible, adaptable and willing to help others

If you would like to benefit from the expertise and skills of a qualified mentor, international hockey player & performance specialist, then you can get in touch and request a free strategy session with me by clicking here.  

About The Author

Lauren Penny

Lauren is a former International Hockey Player, Performance Coach & Mentor specialising in helping hockey players to be more confident, improve their fitness and perform more consistently to get noticed and reach higher teams.